圖片俱轉(zhuǎn)載自新浪微博@魯迅中心。
I dreamed that I was dying on the road.
Where was this place, how did I get here, how did I die, I knew nothing at all. In short, by the time I knew, I was dead there.
A few magpie calls were heard, followed by a burst of old crows. The air was crisp--albeit a little earthy--about dawn. I tried to open my eyes, but didn't move at all, it hardly like my eyes; the same thing went for raising my hand.
?The terrifying arrowhead suddenly penetrated my heart. When I was living, I once jokingly imagined: If a person's death is just the abolition of motor nerves, but the consciousness is still there, it will be more terrible than death. Who knew that my prediction was right, and I was confirming it myself actually.
?I heard footsteps, presumably someone passing by. A wheelbarrow was pushed past my head, probably heavy, scuffing and teething. My face was blushing, it must be the sun. From this it can be seen that I was facing the east but nobody cared about. People watching and muttering, they kicked up the loess and flew into my nostrils, making me want to sneeze, but in the end I didn't, I just wanted to.
?There were footsteps one after another, and stopped when they got close. More and more whispers and eyes were on me. I suddenly wanted to hear what they talked about me. But at the same time, it appeared to me that the criticism I said when I was alive was not worth laughing at, and it was probably against my heart: I just died, and the coward side of me revealed. I kept listening, but after all there was nothing but only could be summed up as following----
?One surprised; the other seemed unbelievable; another thought I deserved it; the rest just felt sorry about me.
?I was glad not to hear any familiar voice of mine. Otherwise, it would either make them sad; or make them happy; or become water cooler gossip to occupy their time; all above would make my heart feel broken. No one could see me now, thus no one was affected. Well, finally worthy of people!
?An ant was crawling on my spine. But I had no power to move to remove and drive the inch away; if I were alive, just a twist of my body would have made him retreat.
?Moreover, there was another one crawling on my thigh! What do you want, you wicked creature!???
Things got even worse: with a buzzing sound, a bluebottle landed on my cheekbones, walked a few steps, flew again, and licked the tip of my nose. I thought angrily: hey you, though I’m not a great man, you don't need to come to me to do some research.... But can't tell. The bluebottle ran down from the nose tip and licked my lips again with his cold tongue. He loves me in some ways. A few others gathered on my brows, and the roots of my hair shook when they stepped. I hated this feeling—totally.
?Suddenly, there was a piece of things fell from above caused by a gust of wind, and they before they flew away, they said----
?“You lucky dog!......”I almost fainted with rage.
?The dull vibration sound of the wood falling to the ground made me suddenly awake, and I felt the stripes of the reed mat on my forehead. The time when the reed seat was lifted I immediately felt the scorching heat of the sun and heard someone say----
?“How can you die here?......”
?The voice was so close to me because he was bending over. But where should people die? I used to think that although people do not have the right to live at will, they at least have the right to die at will. Things not went as I thought and it couldn’t make anyone happy. It was a pity that I've been out of pen and paper for a long time; if I have, I can't write, and if I do, there's no place to publish it. So just let it go.
?Someone came to lift me, and I didn't know who. The scabbard, and the patrolman were heard here, where I shouldn't have died. I was turned over a few times, and then I felt a swipe up and a sinking down, turned out that the coffin covered and nailed. But, oddly, only two were nailed. Was that right?
?It was six sides against the wall, plus nails. It was a complete failure, what a shame!
?"Suffocated!..." It was me again.
?However, I was actually much quieter than before, although I didn't know if it was buried. The stripes of the straw mat touched my hand back, and I sensed that this shroud was not bad. I just don't know who would visit my grave and honor their memory of me, unfortunately! But, damn, corpse-collecting boys! The corner of the little shirt on my back was wrinkled, they didn't flatten it for me, and it made me feel very uncomfortable right now. Ha ha! Do you think that dead people have no feeling and you can do whatever you what?
?My body seems to be much heavier than when I was alive, so it was especially uncomfortable to press the wrinkles in my clothes. But it would get used to it soon; or it will rot, and not getting any more trouble. It was better to think quietly now.
?"Hello? Are you dead?"
?It was a rather familiar voice. When I opened my eyes, it was the young man running outside the old bookstore in Boguzhai. I haven't seen him for more than 20 years, but he still looks the same. I looked at the six-sided wall again, and it was so rough that I didn't even add a bit of shaving, and the sawdust was still shaggy.
?"That's okay, that's okay," he said, unwrapping the dark blue cloth. "This is Ming edition Gongyang Biography, black-mouthed book prevailed in Jiajing period, brought to you. You can leave him alone. This is..."
?"You!" I looked at his eyes in surprise and said, "Are you really confused? You look at me, how can a dead body read those old books?"
?"You can see, that's fine."
?I closed my eyes immediately because I was so annoyed with him. After a while, there was no sound, and he was about to leave. But it seemed that an ant got up on my neck again, and finally crawled to my face, only circling around the eye sockets.
?Unexpectedly, people even changed after death. Suddenly, a force broke through the peace of my heart; at the same time, many dreams were in sight. A few friends wished me well, and a few enemies wished me perish. But I always lived neither happy nor perished, and could not live up to any expectations. Now I was dead like a shadow, and not even the enemy knew about it, refusing to give them a little joy without cost.
?I feel like crying out of joy. This was probably the first time I cried since I died.
?But in the end there were no tears; I just saw what seemed to be a spark before my eyes, and i sat up.???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? July 12, 1925.??（原文選自魯迅散文詩集《野草》之《死后》）
Where was this place, how did I get here, how did I die, I knew nothing at all. In short, by the time I knew, I was dead there.
A few magpie calls were heard, followed by a burst of old crows. The air was crisp--albeit a little earthy--about dawn. I tried to open my eyes, but didn't move at all, it hardly like my eyes; the same thing went for raising my hand.
?The terrifying arrowhead suddenly penetrated my heart. When I was living, I once jokingly imagined: If a person's death is just the abolition of motor nerves, but the consciousness is still there, it will be more terrible than death. Who knew that my prediction was right, and I was confirming it myself actually.
?I heard footsteps, presumably someone passing by. A wheelbarrow was pushed past my head, probably heavy, scuffing and teething. My face was blushing, it must be the sun. From this it can be seen that I was facing the east but nobody cared about. People watching and muttering, they kicked up the loess and flew into my nostrils, making me want to sneeze, but in the end I didn't, I just wanted to.
?There were footsteps one after another, and stopped when they got close. More and more whispers and eyes were on me. I suddenly wanted to hear what they talked about me. But at the same time, it appeared to me that the criticism I said when I was alive was not worth laughing at, and it was probably against my heart: I just died, and the coward side of me revealed. I kept listening, but after all there was nothing but only could be summed up as following----
?One surprised; the other seemed unbelievable; another thought I deserved it; the rest just felt sorry about me.
?I was glad not to hear any familiar voice of mine. Otherwise, it would either make them sad; or make them happy; or become water cooler gossip to occupy their time; all above would make my heart feel broken. No one could see me now, thus no one was affected. Well, finally worthy of people!
?An ant was crawling on my spine. But I had no power to move to remove and drive the inch away; if I were alive, just a twist of my body would have made him retreat.
?Moreover, there was another one crawling on my thigh! What do you want, you wicked creature!???
Things got even worse: with a buzzing sound, a bluebottle landed on my cheekbones, walked a few steps, flew again, and licked the tip of my nose. I thought angrily: hey you, though I’m not a great man, you don't need to come to me to do some research.... But can't tell. The bluebottle ran down from the nose tip and licked my lips again with his cold tongue. He loves me in some ways. A few others gathered on my brows, and the roots of my hair shook when they stepped. I hated this feeling—totally.
?Suddenly, there was a piece of things fell from above caused by a gust of wind, and they before they flew away, they said----
?“You lucky dog!......”I almost fainted with rage.
?The dull vibration sound of the wood falling to the ground made me suddenly awake, and I felt the stripes of the reed mat on my forehead. The time when the reed seat was lifted I immediately felt the scorching heat of the sun and heard someone say----
?“How can you die here?......”
?The voice was so close to me because he was bending over. But where should people die? I used to think that although people do not have the right to live at will, they at least have the right to die at will. Things not went as I thought and it couldn’t make anyone happy. It was a pity that I've been out of pen and paper for a long time; if I have, I can't write, and if I do, there's no place to publish it. So just let it go.
?Someone came to lift me, and I didn't know who. The scabbard, and the patrolman were heard here, where I shouldn't have died. I was turned over a few times, and then I felt a swipe up and a sinking down, turned out that the coffin covered and nailed. But, oddly, only two were nailed. Was that right?
?It was six sides against the wall, plus nails. It was a complete failure, what a shame!
?"Suffocated!..." It was me again.
?However, I was actually much quieter than before, although I didn't know if it was buried. The stripes of the straw mat touched my hand back, and I sensed that this shroud was not bad. I just don't know who would visit my grave and honor their memory of me, unfortunately! But, damn, corpse-collecting boys! The corner of the little shirt on my back was wrinkled, they didn't flatten it for me, and it made me feel very uncomfortable right now. Ha ha! Do you think that dead people have no feeling and you can do whatever you what?
?My body seems to be much heavier than when I was alive, so it was especially uncomfortable to press the wrinkles in my clothes. But it would get used to it soon; or it will rot, and not getting any more trouble. It was better to think quietly now.
?"Hello? Are you dead?"
?It was a rather familiar voice. When I opened my eyes, it was the young man running outside the old bookstore in Boguzhai. I haven't seen him for more than 20 years, but he still looks the same. I looked at the six-sided wall again, and it was so rough that I didn't even add a bit of shaving, and the sawdust was still shaggy.
?"That's okay, that's okay," he said, unwrapping the dark blue cloth. "This is Ming edition Gongyang Biography, black-mouthed book prevailed in Jiajing period, brought to you. You can leave him alone. This is..."
?"You!" I looked at his eyes in surprise and said, "Are you really confused? You look at me, how can a dead body read those old books?"
?"You can see, that's fine."
?I closed my eyes immediately because I was so annoyed with him. After a while, there was no sound, and he was about to leave. But it seemed that an ant got up on my neck again, and finally crawled to my face, only circling around the eye sockets.
?Unexpectedly, people even changed after death. Suddenly, a force broke through the peace of my heart; at the same time, many dreams were in sight. A few friends wished me well, and a few enemies wished me perish. But I always lived neither happy nor perished, and could not live up to any expectations. Now I was dead like a shadow, and not even the enemy knew about it, refusing to give them a little joy without cost.
?I feel like crying out of joy. This was probably the first time I cried since I died.
?But in the end there were no tears; I just saw what seemed to be a spark before my eyes, and i sat up.???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? July 12, 1925.??（原文選自魯迅散文詩集《野草》之《死后》）
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